Diamonds On Dark Blue Velvet
by Schnubbel166
Summary: JJ is suffering from a panic attack and Otabek helps him through it. Afterwards, he knows just the right way to cheer JJ up again.


_Hello :)_

_I'm deep in a Yuri! on Ice phase, I just love it so much, and thus gained new ships :) One of my favorites is undoubtedly JJBek. Even though I love Otayuri and Otapliroy and Pliroy just as much. But the idea of JJBek stargazing wouldn't let me go, so I wrote it down :)_

_It's a lot angstier than I had originally planned, but there is a good portion of Fluff in here too._

_So, I really really hope you'll like it. I'd love to know what you think of this, so don't hesitate to leave feedback :)_

_And now, without further ado, enjoy the read :)_

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_Diamonds On Dark Blue Velvet_

JJ wakes up, drenched in sweat, unable to breath properly, shaking. He feels like he is drowning, suffocating, hyperventilating. And the last, he is doing probably. Maybe? The mattress dibs beside him, but he barely registers Otabek. A hand cards through his hair and his first reflex is to flinch back, then he hears Otabek's voice. Close to his ear. Oh, he is being held.

His head falls against Otabek's shoulder. "Breath Jean. Come on. Breath with me." Otabek's voice is steady, strong. Hands card through his hair, again and again. His chest hurts his sight is blurry. He can't breathe. "Jean, JJ, please. You have to breath now. In… out… in… out."

JJ tries to focus on the voice. It feels like there are cold hands pressing against his chest, preventing him from breathing. He feels like he is dying, but he knows, he has to push through this. It's what he always does. It takes time and strength and concentration. But it's so hard.

"That's it. Just breath." Otabek says and his voice is getting closer again, doesn't sound like it is miles and miles away. It makes him fight a little more, push through the ring of panic closing in around him. "You're doing good. Breath." By now, it sounds like a chant and perhaps, Otabek is not as calm and collected as he wants to make him believe. He registers the position he is in a few minutes later. Minutes, seconds, hours? JJ has lost the ability to tell.

He is curled up in a fetal position, half resting in Otabek's lap, half hanging from the bedside. Otabek has him pressed against him and he notices the slight tremor in his motions as he combs through JJ's hair, strokes his back gentle but firmly. "You're alright. I'm here." JJ's body stops shaking, and his constricted lungs let him breath again. He is slowly but surely calming. Tears leak out from beneath his closed eyelids.

"Pssh." Otabek murmurs and hugs him a little closer. JJ grabs his hand and Otabek lets him.

Because Otabek deserves an award for being patient, and always there and never annoyed by JJ's antics, well sometimes, but never seriously, and because Otabek is the best boyfriend he could have ever wished for. No. He could have never predicted, that he would end up with Otabek.

Lips press against his temple and he is being rocked softly. Back and forth and JJ's coiled tight muscles loosen again. He is relaxing slowly and Otabek keeps rocking him, keeps him close. They stay like that for a long time. They are quiet, aside from JJ's restrained sniffles. Otabek breaks the silence. "I have an idea." He says and carefully tests JJ's ability to sit.

JJ looks at him questioningly and Otabek smiles. "You trust me?" And JJ nods. There is no one he trusts more than Otabek. The latter nods and shuffles a little, before standing up and grabbing two hoodies from their shared closet. One from JJ's collection. Red and white, with the Canadian flag and with _**JJ**_printed in thick letters on the back. The other a simple black one.

Otabek slips into the red and white one and helps JJ slipping into the other. JJ breathes Otabek's scent in, that clings to the hoodie. "Where are we going?" He croaks out. Another smile wanders over Otabek's face. Conspiratory. "It's a surprise."

For a moment, they reversed roles apparently. Otabek grabs his cell, a woolen blanket and helps JJ all the way down to the car. JJ gets onto the passenger seat. Otabek drapes the blanket over his body and gets in next to him. Turning the key in the ignition and driving off into the night. Cars drive by them and Otabek turns on the radio, quiet music filling the car.

They don't talk. JJ feels safe. Otabek glances over to him from time to time. He gets them out of the bustling city and keeps driving. Here, the sky is darker. A dark blue, velvety veil above them. Covered in beaming diamonds. JJ is tired. The panic drained him from all his energy, and he can barely hold his head up.

The car comes to a stop on a field. There is nothing around them and Otabek stops the engine, gets out of the car and JJ after that. Smiles at him reassuringly. He guides him away from the car. Not far, just a little and takes the blanket to put it on the ground.

He lies down and pulls JJ with him. JJ looks at him, a tired smile around his lips. "You're taking me stargazing?" He asks and settles down next to Otabek, head pillowed on Otabek's chest. Instinctively, Otabek wraps an arm around him and kisses the top of his head, lingers a little and settles back down himself.

"Hm." JJ smiles again. "I love it." He says and glances up at Otabek. "I love _you_. So much."

Otabek smiles and pulls him into a chaste kiss. A simple brush of lips. Otabek's fingers trail down his cheek. Calloused fingers, with such a soft touch. JJ closes his eyes, head falling back against Otabek's chest. "I love you too."

The world is quiet around them. They look up into the stars, watching shooting stars, content, so close to each other. JJ's body relaxing more and more against Otabek. Arms wrapped around him protectively, hands linked above his heart. "Thank you." JJ whispers, before drifting off to sleep.

Otabek sees the curves of JJ's profile and smiles. It's relaxed in sleep and his own heart clenches with the thought of how his endlessly kind, passionate and strong boyfriend must have felt like, not long ago. The last months have been stressful and they both still need to accommodate to the fact, that it's off-season, and that they can breathe through again. JJ takes it especially to heart that he didn't end up with gold at the Olympics. He is afraid of disappointing his parents, and his fans, his family, Otabek. Even if they all have his back, even if none of them is able to be disappointed in JJ. Ever.

And even now, JJ can't relax. The children's hospital, he had been supporting for years, is fighting for its existence and JJ beats himself up for not being able to help more. Otabek strokes JJ's cheek. It's stubbly and JJ dead set on growing it out. A smile plays around Otabek's lips.

His gaze wanders back into the night sky. Another star falls from the it and Otabek closes his eyes and makes a silent wish.

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_Thank you for reading ^-^_


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